Does everyone know how a relationship begins?
Okay, here it goes then. Quite obviously your first relationship was in the womb, however, the mutuality of that was a bit lopsided in that your creators were the ones who chose to bring you here. But then you were here all covered in vernix, screaming and kicking, begging someone to please have a relationship with you. Now hopefully you are having a relationship with your parent(s). Now time is set in quadrants and the first quarter is learning about your environment, discovering some new rules you may or may not like, learning to walk and talk, basically you’re the entertainment your creators have been seeking.
Now you move into the second quarter, where school starts and the beginning of friendships with those other than your immediate family. Now the third quarter where you discover the growth of hair and looks from the opposite sex, though they may not be looks of adoration. Soon you get to the final stage where you find someone you like very much. He or she brings a bit of newness into the awareness of feelings. New emotions are discovered, and certain sensations associated with touch now become the focal point of your everyday life. Although the two of you separate briefly to be back in the structural foundation of home with parent (s), you find for the first time that every thought is centered on that person, you can’t get them out of your mind. [The actual act of wanting to procreate; the inception of sexual desire doesn’t truly enter into the newly formed relationship, generally, that is a discovery that comes about with the frequency of kissing and touching, the discovery that other parts of your body have begun to react to the person you are with]. Then comes the moment when all the precursors ring most loudly and the intramural fumbling of two young adults is set aflame in a cauldron of curiosity and self-awareness, you make love.
This is how most relationships begin or have begun, as an innocent endeavor to discover the meaning of love, or better yet that thing that is happening inside of us. Almost every person who has been in a relationship has started from the very point I mentioned. Yes, there are varying cases that differ from the norm, some abnormal experiences have occurred, but for the sake of the population of lovers in the world, let’s simply focus on the usual.
Now that sexuality has been revealed, we realize how sex influences our lives powerfully. The feeling associated with the bringing together a penis and a vagina dominate almost everyone’s life. Pleasure is the central theme in all humankind, and the absence of pleasure is nothing. Sex becomes distorted and confused as a version of love, it becomes the quintessential element in everything a person relates to in their relationship. It becomes so infinite that our genitals begin to take on a life of their own.
We are now moving through time, where the truth has become more open, and sexuality now overrides the conservativism of what relationships were meant to be. It begins to take shape in many forms; and has many reasons to exist, and even many more reasons to end. But nonetheless, relationships must be part of the human experience. There is a great feeling associated with a relationship hinged on (love and adoration), (a feeling of wellbeing), (connectedness and security), but these relationships, though strong in nature and powerfully charged with emotions of every kind; are usually short-lived. The times have changed and where once people remained in relationships out of obligation to children and society, they now longer have to use that excuse to remain in a relationship , you can simply pack your stuff and split. There is a perplexity associated with the life of an intimate relationship, which is just as synonymous with the complicated nature of the reason relationships end.
The most interesting relationship, which we have been speaking about, is that between a man and a woman. The simplest understanding of this type of relationship and its dynamics don’t always boil away with the simple process of sexuality. The understanding between a man and a woman in an intimate relationship comes from the background of those two people. Factors governing the success or failure of a relationship are generally narrowed into small categories such as Culture, Education, Morality, Family Values, Emotional Intelligence, Spirituality and or Religion. Then they’re those who have stripped away these conventional mores and have simply relied on feelings and attraction or chemistry. Unfortunately though, human beings thrive on excitement and pleasure, it is part of the DNA whether it is through food, drink, sex, or money just to name a few. Even more so people have expanded pleasure to involve morbid and unconventional styles, but nonetheless, people want to feel good and want to feel good beyond the mundane.
As time continues to move you find yourself having been in a relationship for more than 5 or 10 years and the things that brought the two of you together has now dissipated and the glue holding your relationship together is fear, fear of being alone, the children, the mortgage, and what friends and family may think if you ever decide to find love somewhere else. Most people live in relationships that exist on lies. The relationship may not have begun that way, but at some point over a period of time the man or the woman has left the relationship, the only thing remaining is the body. It’s safe to say that most people marry or live together because they are in love. Have you ever taken a close look at what love is, asked your partner what it is exactly that holds you two together? For most, relationships begin because they want to experience sex with that person, or have experienced sex and want more of it so they decide to buy their sex partner through marriage or living together so they can have it anytime they desire. Okay yeah this sounds a bit shallow, but I didn’t say it necessarily pertains to you, but you see part or all of this in your relationship then I have connected.
In a relationship, you either chose to accept that when the burning desire leaves, you stay. Or you either chose to find another person that fulfils the elements that burn within your desire. Either way, you cannot deny your need to fulfil every desire that grows within you, it is part of your nature as a being of higher substance. In my life, I have experienced many forms of intimate relationship. I am not professing to have been engaged in an unusual amount, but due to certain factors, my relationships were varied in terms of amount and longevity. No one begins their life of relationships with the thought they would set out to conquer every aspect of every relationship possible, but at some point, in a person’s life they find that is exactly what they are doing.