All of these women are aged somewhere in the number sixty, yet they all possess some very unique characteristics that on the outside speak a different story to the onlooker. Men my age (62) are hoping to find that perfect woman who would fit comfortably into our worlds and we in theirs, but as we have approached these higher numbers of life the rules suddenly change.
Most men don’t look deep enough into themselves to see that they have changed or if not changed, have become more aware of the things they can bring to a relationship and the things they want out of a relationship. You go on a dating site, post your profile, add a few pictures (if honest the most recent) and write something that you feel will attract that perfect woman, but the perfect woman is every woman.
When young you make a decision about a woman based on your emotions and then the fact that she has or hasn’t any children. Her views on marriage and future family life. Her education or lack of it, her job or career and how all of this sets with you. But then you wake up after a 40 year sleep and discover you are now 60 and almost every woman has a kid or 2 or 3. Has been married a time or two, has become a widow or divorcee, is recovering from a battered and abusive relationship, time does nothing but give us more experiences.
It seemed easier when you met a woman who had children aged between 5-10 because it was simple to form a relationship with that child who itself is seeking a relationship with someone. You could help with homework, go on picnics, amusement parks, there were all sorts of ways to connect with the child. But the older woman who has children close to your own age even though it might be a 20 year difference, but still that child who is now a mother or father themselves see you, the new guy in their mother’s life as a counterpart.
Though I am British, I am new to England and haven’t a family here, my children all live in California and so I cannot bring my date to a family setting because I am a single man with no visible family. But the English woman who sells the attribute of a family and friends as the most important element of her life, makes entering into a relationship a scary endeavor. It’s like going on stage, being part of a panel. It’s difficult having to explain your life to a bunch of strangers and hope they like what you say and who you are. I realize that it is an important part of any relationship to be accepted by the family, because it places a tremendous burden on the woman who needs to seek the approval of her family and friends. A man really doesn’t care who likes or dislikes the new woman in his life, but it’s different for a woman.
If there is some way of approaching this without fear I’d like to know. Because I find it more difficult to be the man in the life of the woman I wish to be with. It seems like a big test, a big overcoming of obstacles. I don’t know who I am trying to make fall in love with me, the woman or the family. Maybe if I had my family here with me, we could exchange and it would be an easier process to get around, but as a man alone and on his own, the process has an entirely different approach, thank you.