Everyone as you know comes with a different past. We all come with different regrets and different attributes that make us shine above other’s. But no one is better than or less than the next person. So why are people broken into different categories?
Mankind, by nature, is a selfish creature. He wants to be on top, ahead, and have more than everyone else, but not all have the ability or the opportunity to see this through. By nature men and women are competitive, but more so now through the evolution of cultural and social acceptances. But as always people have separated themselves from the underprivileged. The homeless are frowned upon, different colored people are frowned upon, people with different financial backgrounds see each other differently, and people who set higher standards on life and society frown upon those who possess less. No one wants to lose their status or wealth, and certainly no one wants to lose the respect of their peers by associating with those outside of the circle.
This can be a very touchy area, especially after meeting that right person and both of you deciding you were made for each other. Guilt is flying around inside your head. On a daily basis you don’t know if the person looking at you is looking at you through the same eyes as before, it’s a nightmare, but we all know the only way to cure this problem is to roll the dice and let them fall where they may. Online dating has changed the way of meeting and finding a new partner. Not always is everything out in the open from the beginning, so how do you decide what to tell another person who may or may not find out about the things you have chosen to keep hidden from the outside world?
People today believe that the past is your defining moment, that it has shaped the person you have become, but what does it mean if a negative experience has shaped a better person, or that a good person has come across a bit of bad luck and found him/herself caught in a situation of no return. So often we stigmatize a person based on the events of his/her life without ever taking a moment to ask what happened. There so many deeper hidden reasons why things happen in a person’s life. It doesn’t always mean that person is bad or unworthy of citizenship in our society, and what about the man or woman who has fallen in love with each other and suddenly out again because the other person had a scar in their past. Is this what love is all about; the unforgiving minute. Seeing not beyond the wrongs committed months or years ago, but only thinking of self and what friends and family will think of your association.
I don’t believe lying will help, or hiding will help either, so I say allow the other person to make a choice without being tainted by your lack of disclosure. Open up fully and lay on the table those elements of your past that you feel may influence a decision in your relationship. If there is real love it will prevail, but you must also remember that not everyone follows the rules of love to the letter, not everyone is a Jesus or a Buddha or a Gandhi or a Mother Theresa. People are people, flawed as they are, and remember that love only means what it wants to be meant by the person who believes they what it is.